#or how his attempts to do so are flawed
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What were the most painful things the batkids told bruce that really hurt him?
"When the Justice League makes jokes about you being a whore and you get offended, it's really hard to back you up. Because you kinda are a whore sometimes, B."
#asks#anon#my serious answer is probably something about how he'll never replace their parent#or how his attempts to do so are flawed#etc#bruce wayne#batman#dc#batfamily
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WE'RE SO BACK
#tim drake#nightwing#dick grayson#hey this took under 7 hours to do and that was so much faster than the last attempt. that other tim drake one with cleaner lines took me#days to finish and i was coloring it like that one white boy with pulsing veins on his forehead. i was watching one video about how the#thing stopping you from creating is being too obsessed with perfectionism and this is true. we must go forward. GO FORTH. CREATE.#EMBRACE FLAWS AND ACCEPT THAT SOMETIMES IT MAY LOOK ASS. I wouldve been happier with more frames between it but it is a sunday.#M-F employed people you know that means no staying up til 3 am doing little projects because it will mess u up so bad. finished before 12
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I’ve mentioned this elsewhere but it feels relevant again in light of the most recent episode. Something that’s really fascinating to me about Orym’s grief in comparison to the rest of the hells’ grief is that his is the youngest/most fresh and because of that tends to be the most volatile when it is triggered (aside from FCG, who was two and obviously The Most volatile when triggered.)
As in: prior to the attack on Zephrah, Orym was leading a normal, happy, casual life! with family who loved him and still do! Grief was something that was inflicted upon him via Ludinus’ machinations, whereas with characters like Imogen or Ashton, grief has been the background tapestry of their entire lives. And I think that shows in how the rest of them are largely able to, if not see past completely (Imogen/Laudna/Chetney) then at least temper/direct their vitriol or grief (Ashton/Fearne/Chetney again) to where it is most effective. (There is a glaring reason, for example, that Imogen scolded Orym for the way he reacted to Liliana and not Ashton. Because Ashton’s anger was directed in a way that was ultimately protective of Imogen—most effective—and Orym’s was founded solely in his personal grief.)
He wants Imogen to have her mom and he wants Lilliana to be salvageable for Imogen because he loves Imogen. But his love for the people in his present actively and consistently tend to conflict with the love he has for the people in his past. They are in a constant battle and Orym—he cannot fathom losing either of them.
(Or, to that point, recognize that allowing empathy to take root in him for the enemy isn't losing one of them.)
It is deeply poignant, then, that Orym’s grief is symbolized by both a sword and shield. It is something he wields as a blade when he feels his philosophy being threatened by certain conversational threads (as he believes it is one of the only things he has left of Will and Derrig, and is therefore desperately clinging onto with both bloody hands even if it makes him, occasionally, a hypocrite), but also something he can use in defense of the people he presently loves—if that provocative, blade-grief side of him does not push them—or himself—away first.
(it won’t—he is as loved by the hells as he loves them. he just needs to—as laudna so beautifully said—say and hear it more often.)
#critical role#cr spoilers#bells hells#orym of the air ashari#cr meta#imogen temult#ashton greymoore#liliana temult#this is genuinely completely written in good faith as someone who loves orym#but is also about orym and so will inevitably end up being completely misconstrued and made into discourse. alas#I could talk about how Orym’s unwillingness to allow the hells to actually finish/come to a solid conclusion on Philosophy Talk#is directly connected to one of the largest criticisms of c3 (that they are constantly having these conversations)#all day. alas. engaging with orym’s flaws tends to make people upset#it is ESP prevelant when he walks off after exclaiming ‘they (vangaurd) are NOT right’#which was not only never said but wasn’t even what they were talking about#he even admits as much to imogen like ten minutes later! that he is incapable of viewing it objectively#which is 100% justifiable and understandable but simultaneously does not make his grief alone the most important perspective in the world#also bc i fear ppl will play semantics on my tags yes the line ‘i hope she’s right’ was said but it was from ASHTON#who does not believe they are at all and wasn’t saying they actively WERE right. orym just heard something to latch onto and ran with it#ultimately there is a reason orym only admitted that he was struggling when he had stepped away to talk to dorian#who has not been around and thusly has not changed once n orym's eyes#and it isn't that the hells never check in or care. they do. they have several times over#it is dishonest to say they haven't#the actual reason is that all of this is something He Is Aware Of. he doesn't mention it bc he KNOWS it's hypocritical and selfish#he says as much!#EXHALES. @ MY OWN BRAIN CAN WE THINK ABT MOG AGAIN. FYRA RAI EVEN. FOR ME.#posting this literally at 8 in the morning so I can get my thoughts out of my brain but also attempt to immediately make this post invisibl
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just read the new mutants issue where Charles chose to stay behind in space and my god the juxtaposition between Charles trusting Erik and Erik joining the hellfire club and wondering at his own trust worthiness. I wonder how much of Charles decision was him ultimately trying to avoid the fact that his first class had seemingly betrayed mutant kind and not be willing to face them and how much of it was Dani and Illyana's reaction to him having Karma mind control Illyana. the fact that Illyana was depending on him to ease her mind through limbo and in choosing to stay he forced karma to do it instead, probably fucking up their relationship in the process.
I love him, this is crazy, how much of this is him trying to runaway and how much is this him not trusting himself to fix things and how much is it just him trusting Erik?
i keep trying to put into words my exact thoughts about the sitch but there really is a lot for one issue aintit... oh charles you and your brain...
#snap chats#thats why we have tag rambles AHAHA#ok so to tackle things one at a time charles ultimately deciding to stay in space despite his expressed want to return to earth#obviously it was when lilandra pointed out if her sister took charge of the shi'ar then the universe- earth included- would be in peril#charles notes his position as a losing one: whichever choice he makes he loses#he goes to earth then the universe could be at stake/he stays in space he loses his kids#of course charles COULD just put his faith in the starjammers but is that a risk he wants to take ? evidently not#charles' reoccurring flaw is he's willing to sacrifice personal relationships for the greater perceived good#even lilandra acknowledges this- that charles' homesickness for earth was an inevitability just as she is indebted to protecting the stars#so now his ruptured relationship with illyana and co- esp right after comforting a split illyana last issue#we've seen charles act more coldly/rashly when he's about to lose people (i think of his first death with the og5 mostly)#i mean it's a key part to charles' chara that he doesn't favor mind controlling others and im sure he has the same regard for his students#he's aware of the damage it can do and in this instance- for one reason or another- he orders it to be done regardless#im sure he does this as a form of defense: if his kids are upset with him they won't feel too bad about losing him and it'll be less painfu#obviously we still see sam wish charles farewell and wish for him to come back soon but yk.. worthy attempt..#and it's not as if charles wants them to hate him ENTIRELY.. he's still touched by sam's goodbye no.... fickle man he is..#i dont think charles is totally afraid to confront the og5- its what made him want to return to earth with the nms initially#tho again.. could his decision to stay in the stars be influenced by that? that maybe he ISNT prepared to confront them like he thought?#who's to say... not me i dont got that psych degree yet..#erik being charles' trusted confidant definitely made his decision easier on top of that: i mean is he needed if he has a substitute#i think charles DOES wholly trust erik: charles really doesnt approach his x-men half heartedly. from his pov ofc#if he didn't genuinely believe in erik's potential he wouldn't have picked him; hes a comforting thought when charles decides to depart#'although i'm gone erik understands me and my goals enough to continue my work as good as i would have so i have nothing to worry about'#which. yk. makes the whole White King thing kinda awkward VJAELVJEAKL charles you fool#i have no idea how this saga ends though... tbh im only on ish 45 of NM i just read 50 and 51 to get context for this ask#so i can only wait and see how this saga turns out... once i finish reading house of m/secret invasion stuff jvLKEJKA#idk im tired and rambling dont pay attention to me.. ramblin bout charles' brain is a good day for me regardless if i make sense jVLAJ
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Don't think I've said this before and I can't say for sure if this was my genuine opinion the first time I watched Breaking Bad, but...
I lose sympathy for Walt as early as S1E5. Not because he rejected Elliot's help; yes, that's one of the biggest pieces of evidence that this character rather feel macho than look for any logical solutions. But that part, I'm actually willing to excuse that as there maybe being legitimate reasons taking the money/job would have been a bad idea.
No, I'm talking about the way he talks to Skyler as they're leaving the party. First of all, hold the door for your pregnant wife, asshole. Second, it really just highlights how despite constantly talking about how he's doing this "for his family", Walt loathes the idea that his problem might be a problem the family has to face collectively, rather than his personal license to take revenge against the world. Yes, Skyler's kind of an annoying white lady in Season 1, and I get how being reluctant to tell your family you have cancer only for them to turn around and blab it to everyone sucks, but Skyler doesn't act like her problems negate the existence of everyone else's like Walt does. I get wanting privacy, but telling your wife point-blank that you expect her to pretend nothing's wrong? It's so patriarchal and so infantile in the same breath.
This guy was a dick long before he started killing people. Fuck'em!
#breaking bad#walter white#skyler white#Also he attempts to rape her in S2E1 I feel like we don't talk about that enough#Forget body count I judge characters in this franchise strictly by how nice they are to women#Most of them aren't#I go to bat for Saul so much because despite all his other flaws you can see how much thought he expends over#what his girlfriend/wife wants what would make her happy.#And Kim is a lot harder to figure out than Sklyer.#But meanwhile Walt is pissy every time Skyler deviates from the script because he sees her as some carboard cut out 50's housewife#and is dangerously incurious about her thoughts and feelings. The red flags start earlier than people act like they do. That's all I'm sayi
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Amazing how healing a big ancient slightly crushed hunk of plastic can be
A little acetone and a good scrubbing took care of the vast majority of the grunge. He’s CERTAINLY in better shape than the atrociously stained Leonardo, anyway. There is this:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ab3187bb8bc8699f8c36a582cb224649/d1663045ef8c557f-00/s540x810/d3acef1cfc954d264ae6343858b4255a04aeea07.jpg)
Where I can only assume he was laying flat with something heavy on top of him for a few….decades…or wedged between things, maybe. Totally deformed one bit of his shell. I tried to sort of squish him back into place after a bit of blow dryer heating, but I think if I want to actually be able to shape him back into place I might need to level up to an actual heat gun. Not sure if that’s worth it, honestly, as I’m uncertain what else I might ever need a heat gun for.
I do however definitely have some faux black leather left from making Misty’s Shinsuke doll, so recreating his belt won’t be difficult at all.
My fingers fit into his hands. Maybe I can make a model magic bo staff? Wire core? I have to take it out to make the mushroom jewelry (unrelated) anyway.
On wednesday I saw him in the shop window (waiting for me), but the shop has odd hours, thursday-saturday. Made another attempt on thursday after physio, but they had closed early, maybe because the weather was atrocious. So it remained, on friday, so I did not try. Phoned first, today. The quoted price, with ‘wiggle room’ (I only suggested $5 off which doesn’t make me much of a haggler but did only put him a few cents over the price that in my head was past the limits of what I should allow for the sake of the inner child Looking at me and saying pllleeeeeeaaassseeeeee?)
Wash water is still running out of all his joints and I love him very much.
#No YOU’RE cradling a scuffed up piece of ancient pop culture like a swaddled baby and cooing at it#now if you'll excuse me I'm going to do heat gun repair research and possibly pattern a little trenchcoat#idk how to explain to my mother that I kind of PREFER that his shell is a bit crushed#because then I can attempt to correct it#and probably nobody else would so he would just sit there labelled Flawed#and more importantly if I cannot correct it then THAT IS OK and he is still beloved
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when will aup sidestories return from war and stop leaving me bitter about how the main story ended
#lumensis' characterization & death + the revelation of ludgers desire were extremely anticlimactic#700+ chapters of building up only to have the resolution forcefully/hastily crammed into. what. 2 and 1/2 chapters?#and am i supposed to care for his relationship with his mom when it didnt come up in 99% of the novel?#tbh it had *many* opportunities to come up but the author wanted to keep ludgers desire as mysterious as possible#and so it lost its chance to have any emotional buildup#well other than the implications of regrets which were frankly a bit oversaturated in the novel#(again. what happened to the 'show dont tell' principles)#honestly even occasional flashbacks to ludgers mom teaching him about all kinds of myths and lores when its relevant#would have helped in this aspect plus showcased his growth and development over time even when its off screen#(doesnt make his vast knowledge look like it conveniently came out of nowhere)#while also greatly enhancing the world building of his game breaking 'real magic'#anyway i think ludgers reconciliation w his mother would have been more impactful if ludgers past life came up more often#hell it would have done wonder in exploring his depth if we are going with framing his past lifestyle as a flaw#the thing about ludger as a character is that his past (in both worlds) is much more interesting than his present#bc its the only way we can see how he mentally changed in comparison as his changes are nearly non existent in the present timeline#(a part of the reasons why ludgercaseys relationship over time is an appealing topic is that it showcases both of their changes)#(reading about a protagonist who has no mental changes over the course of the story is no different than watching... a nature documentary)#im still v salty about how we never get to see arpas and bettys reconciliation btw#so do emotional closures between ludger and other characters#those are literally the meat of the story that would be worthy of their own arc#sayren why the hell did you rush through them and put them off screen#in the end instead of proving that he has finally learnt his lessons by confronting his emotions ludger chose to run away from it yet again#even if we are to assume that is whats gonna happen post epilogue why is his change accomplished by a goddamn last minute timeskip#(that is also lowkey a failed suicide attempt in disguise)#instead of what could have been... idk... a banger novel named aup#good christ#rant
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,
#ohhhhhhh i really do dislike the tonal shift in bg2/tob so much........ and by that i mean mostly in xan's mod 😭#i mean maybe the sense of betrayal and disappointment is immersive but it really leaves me with No idea what to do with him#in my version of radri's story. like. do i do my best even with all the parts i find ooc? do i cherry pick what i want and forget the rest?#and even after all my complaints i keep thinking back to his author. the fact that somehow this is the *intended* experience#currently feeling like the necromancer who resurrected their wife and is convinced she came back wrong but who just never truly knew her#i keep going back to 'estel'amin'. the fact that xan named charname his hope--and then quickly stopped using that name for her#once her bhaalspawn nature continued to affect her life after the conclusion of bg1#so--basically--i'm to assume that he changed his mind? she's no longer his hope; his light; and if she is it's rare#he just calls her beautiful now; something far more shallow#and the fact that in tob he vacillates between subtly criticizing her for her nature which she has no control over#(and which in radri's case she has never even willingly given in to)--#and attempting to comfort her after her nature makes bad things happen to her & around her#--but then his comfort is once again undermined by the aforementioned shallow compliments#it's coming across as 'i love your body despite what you are in spirit' and really isn't a great look at all#look maybe i'm crazy but in bg1 i got the impression that he was able to accept and move past it fairly quickly#like 'ok you're a bhaalspawn so now let's move into problem solving. obviously i have to quit my job and travel with you full time'#but in bg2 he spends most of his time lamenting about how hard it must be for her to live like this#while also pointing it out as a personal flaw of hers. as if she'd had any say in who her father was#like there are npcs literally shouting 'i hate all bhaalspawn!' and here he is--supposedly her closest supporter--#also subtly saying 'i hate bhaalspawn' right to her face#when literally as a neutral alignment and as a companion of 1-2 years-- he should actually have THE most nuanced take on her???#in bg1 he says murder is unavoidable in the life of an adventurer. then in tob he comments that charname kills everyone haphazardly--#--as though in another jab to her nature. meanwhile as a constant companion he should know better than anyone that it wasn't so simple#idk. i'm almost feeling gaslighted by the narrative in a sense#because when everyone else talks about xan in bg2/tob--including charname via the dialogue options/written internal dialogue--#they say that he's ~gray~ and calm and collected and emotionless etc#meanwhile he's literally the most emotional guy in the game. like. he's freaked out SO many times#so?? how am i supposed to take anything here genuinely?? how am i supposed to engage??? SIGH#anyway today's my first day at my new job and i have to wake up in 2 hours & im certain that i'll be too nervous to eat today#my goal for today is just to not be fired 👍 12 hours from now it will be over...
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I'm a big fan of wizards-as-programmers, but I think it's so much better when you lean into programming tropes.
A spell the wizard uses to light the group's campfire has an error somewhere in its depths, and sometimes it doesn't work at all. The wizard spends a lot of his time trying to track down the exact conditions that cause the failure.
The wizard is attempting to create a new spell that marries two older spells together, but while they were both written within the context of Zephyrus the Starweaver's foundational work, they each used a slightly different version, and untangling the collisions make a short project take months of work.
The wizard has grown too comfortable reusing old spells, and in particular, his teleportation spell keeps finding its components rearranged and remixed, its parts copied into a dozen different places in the spellbook. This is overall not actually a problem per se, but the party's rogue grows a bit concerned when the wizard's "drying spell" seems to just be a special case of teleportation where you teleport five feet to the left and leave the wetness behind.
A wizard is constantly fiddling with his spells, making minor tweaks and changes, getting them easier to cast, with better effects, adding bells and whistles. The "shelter for the night" spell includes a tea kettle that brings itself to a boil at dawn, which the wizard is inordinately pleased with. He reports on efficiency improvements to the indifference of anyone listening.
A different wizard immediately forgets all details of his spells after he's written them. He could not begin to tell you how any of it works, at least not without sitting down for a few hours or days to figure out how he set things up. The point is that it works, and once it does, the wizard can safely stop thinking about it.
Wizards enjoy each other's company, but you must be circumspect about spellwork. Having another wizard look through your spellbook makes you aware of every minor flaw, and you might not be able to answer questions about why a spell was written in a certain way, if you remember at all.
Wizards all have their own preferences as far as which scripts they write in, the formatting of their spellbook, its dimensions and material quality, and of course which famous wizards they've taken the most foundational knowledge from. The enlightened view is that all approaches have their strengths and weaknesses, but this has never stopped anyone from getting into a protracted argument.
Sometimes a wizard will sit down with an ancient tome attempting to find answers to a complicated problem, and finally find someone from across time who was trying to do the same thing, only for the final note to be "nevermind, fixed it".
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Easing Old Man!Price into sex after dealing with erectile dysfunction 💓 (🌽 link)
As Price gets old with every passing day, a subtle yet gnawing voice at the of his head was telling him that he wasn't able to keep his birdie happy and satisfied despite all his efforts and it didn't help that physically he was not able to perform satisfactorily. He mentally curses himself for all the years of nicotine and alcohol use, mentally chiding himself for not listening to you earlier.
His little birdie would eventually leave him for his flaws.
But you saw it in a different light, you tried to keep John happy and fulfilled and besides there is more than one way to achieve the orgasmic bliss that John always seemed to coax out of you with either his hands or mouth or maybe both, one of his many talents. Your love for him never dwindled but you could see the sadness and unfound guilt in his eyes.
One day, he tells you that he wants to use Viagra to make sex as pleasurable as it used to be. Despite your attempts to voice that you have no complaints about the two of your sex life, John shut them down. He needed to do this, not just for you but for him, to make him feel like a man again. You start to understand that maybe reassurance may not be enough to help John find his self-esteem again so you cave and tell him it's fine.
Tonight, you both find yourselves sitting on the bed after John had taken the pill. Sweaty and flushed til the tips of his ears, John felt like a schoolboy seeing a woman naked for the first time. He didn’t know what to do with his hands, what to say or how to react after seeing his chubby cock stand tall and proud after such a long time. He looks away when you sit next to him, wearing nothing causing you to chuckle chuckle at his nervousness.
“Come on, babe. It’s not like this is the first time you’ve seen my tits. Hell, you even drank my-”
John places a hand over your mouth stopping you from finishing your sentence. You give the palm of his hand a attentive kiss before pulling away and placing a fleeting kiss oh his cheek.
You hand makes its way to his cock, giving it a few trial pumps. Seeing John’s eyes glaze over gave you all the permission you needed to continue your ministrations.
“That’s it, soldier boy. Let your birdie help you.”
#john price x reader#john price#john price cod#john price smut#captain john#tf141 smut#captain price#john price x you#price x reader#cod smut#captain john price smut#captain john price x reader#captain john price#john price x y/n#captain john price x you#john price fluff#captain price x reader#price smut#captain price x female reader#captain price x y/n#captain price x you#price x y/n#price x you#captain price smut#cod x reader#tf 141 x reader#old man!price#ri’s rants
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well since requests are open i wanted to request a zuko fic?
zuko x waterbender reader in which someone from team avatar walks in on them kissing?
i feel like it’d be funny idk lol 😂
a/n: i love this trope it’s so funny. also it’s like subtly mentioned reader is a water bender since i didn’t wanna just shove it in there awkwardly. anyway hope you enjoy!
summary: a private moment between you and your boyfriend is interrupted by your unsuspecting friends
“Are you sure no one saw you come in here?”
“Yes, I’m sure,” Zuko says with a huff after closing the flaps of your tent. “You know, I’m starting to think you’re embarrassed to be seen with me.”
“You know that’s not true,” you argue with a frown. “I just enjoy having some privacy. I know those guys are going to make a big deal about us being together, and I just want to enjoy our relationship without having to deal with any prying eyes.”
“I know,” he admits with a sigh. “I’m just tired of sneaking around. Do you know how difficult it is not to kiss you or check on you after a fight with my sister? It’s torture.”
“It’s just until the war is over. There’s a lot at stake right now, and it would be a weird time to come clean. It’ll be over before you know it.”
“I hope you’re right,” Zuko murmurs with a frown, one that immediately melts away at the feel of your arms wrapping around his midsection. It’s hard to be upset when you’re smiling up at him with the purest look of adoration in your eyes. Despite everything, all of his flaws and mistakes and cruelty, you love him, and it fuels the warmth inside of his heart knowing he has someone like you. Maybe he would have joined the Avatar and his friends sooner if he knew it would lead him to you.
“At least we’re finally alone,” he notes with a faint smile before leaning down to press his lips against your own in a long awaited kiss. He hasn’t been able to give or receive affection all day, and it isn’t until now with your chest pressed against his own that he’s finally able to truly feel relaxed.
Unfortunately, you’re both too engrossed in each other to notice the rustling of your tent flaps as Sokka and Toph let themselves in without a second thought.
“Hey, y/n, Toph and I are gonna head into town, do you want to- oh, gross!” He cries after catching Zuko and yourself mid lip lock.
You both jump at the intrusion, knocking your head together on accident and groaning in unison at the impact.
“Sokka!” You cry out in embarrassment. “Monkey feathers, don’t you knock?!”
“It’s a tent! There is no knocking!” He yells back defensively, equally as upset as you are. “I can’t believe you guys were kissing!”
“We weren’t kissing,” Zuko argues, his face red with embarrassment. “We were… hugging… with our… mouths?”
“Oh, spirits,” you groan, your palm hitting your forehead in embarrassment at Zuko’s horrible attempt at lying. For a Prince, he has a terrible way with words. You’d think all that time spent with his Uncle would make his vocabulary more eloquent.
“If Toph could see she’d be very upset right now!” Sokka scolds, but the girl beside him simply shrugs.
“Actually, this works out great for me. Katara owes me five gold pieces now,” she says with a grin.
“You guys knew they were dating and didn’t tell me?!” The water tribe boy says in offense.
“I had a hunch, but Katara disagreed, so we made a bet.”
“Enough already! This is mortifying enough as it is,” you groan impatiently. “Sokka, we’ll talk about this later. For now, I need both of you out!”
After getting the two to leave the tent, you shut it closed with an irritated sigh. You’re absolutely humiliated, and you don’t think you can show your face to your friends ever again.
“So much for keeping it a secret,” the fire bender mutters.
“You,” you say with an accusatory finger pointed at the Prince, “need to learn how to lie better.”
“I know,” he admits meekly, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. Sighing, you open your water pouch and tend to the growing bump on his head from your previous collision. You can’t stay mad at him when he looks so flustered and sweet, so instead you merely throw your arms around his neck and pull him back in for another kiss.
You can focus on coming clean later. For now, you just want to enjoy your moment of peace with the boy you love.
| zuko tags: @thebluelcdy @royahllty @the-firebender-girl @ilovespideyyy @yiyibetch @eridanuswave @lammello @a-monsters-love @knaite-solo @taeeemin @lora21
#zuko#zuko x reader#zuko imagine#prince zuko#prince zuko x reader#prince zuko imagine#atla#atla x reader#atla imagine#avatar the last airbender#request
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swallow | park seonghwa
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/79e839b5f5f929aa88be830ff9e3b2b3/af5e1d97fce9a410-3b/s540x810/20318b40586c8c082983810423596289cec0721d.jpg)
pairing: park seonghwa x afab!reader
word count: 5.6K
this is part 2 of open wide! if you have not yet read part 1, i highly suggest reading it first.
summary: ever since that night, seonghwa has been avoiding you. but when new guy yunho starts at the restaurant, tensions rise until it reaches a breaking point.
warnings: 18+, minors do not interact, restaurant!au, bartender!seonghwa, server!reader, enemies to lovers trope, smoking (cigarette), alcohol consumption, sex under the influence of alcohol (but both consenting), fingering, unprotected piv (wrap it up y'all), dick slapping, biting, cumplay, oral (f receiving), face sitting, creampie, degrading, use of petnames (princess, baby), the passion is T H E R E, woosan allegations once again, feat. new guy!yunho, server/work bestie!ryujin, servers!wooyoung and san, restaurant manager!hongjoong.
author's note: i already intended on making a part 2 of open wide, and everyone's feedback was so sweet and helpful on part 1! thank u again to @hausofmingi and T for being my beta-readers as always :-) plz enjoy ♡ ✧*
your eyes flutter open to the birds chirping outside. it’s way too fucking early to be awake right now. you feel yourself in a half-dream half-awake state, mind fuzzy and floaty. you turn your head to the side to see the man you spent the night with; the man who made you feel so good.
you rub your eyes a bit, attempting to wipe away the sleepiness. your vision adjusts, and you take a deeper look at him. seonghwa.
he really is beautiful. perfectly plump lips, long eyelashes, and there’s something about the way his nose is just a liiiiittle bit bumped at the bridge. even in his flaws you find beauty. you can’t resist gazing at him while he sleeps, his hair all messy in his face. why is it that he is so beautiful, yet the way he treats you is so far from that?
he shifts a bit, letting out a gentle sigh. your eyes begin to droop again, and you feel yourself drift off to the sound of his soft breathing.
when you wake, your bed feels cold. he left. you sit up slowly, stretching your arms up to ring out the exhaustion from your body. you look back at the empty spot next you.
it’s interesting that he left without a word, but you don’t know what to make out of it. before last night, you clearly couldn’t stand each other. you thought he was conceited and condescending. he was rude. and even during last night, his ego pooled over. but was the mere thought of missing him childish? you can’t help but to feel like there was something more to it. there was something on a deeper level that made you curious, therefore you wanted it back even more so. you started to feel like those girls from the movies; the ones where the girl becomes clingy after a one night stand. a cliché.
so what if he didn’t stay? it’s not like he actually felt anything for you. it was just a quick fuck. you probably were just another girl that he decided to throw a bone to. that’s what cocky men like him enjoy; just someone to string along and play with until he’s bored with them. you figured that time came sooner than you expected. well fuck him.
he hasn’t made eye contact with you once since you came in to work. you have the section right in front of the bar (thanks for nothing, hongjoong) so you have to just bear through it every time you pass him by. you prep your tables for service, wiping them down mindlessly.
you suppose there isn’t really a right way to go about this. sleeping with a coworker is a no-no, especially in restaurants. it gets messy (but it happens nonetheless). it’s not like you can go up to him and talk to him as if nothing happened. he didn’t exactly set you up for success either. he left without a word, and now you’re forced into the same space as him, clueless as to what to do. you decide to just ignore him unless absolutely necessary.
ryujin hops over next to you, a little too peppy for how you’re feeling.
“are you ready for a great service tonight?” ryujin says sarcastically, but with a grin.
“i want it to be over already,” you force out a dry chuckle, still half-assing the prep for your tables.
“the hell is wrong with you?” ryujin snorts.
“i’ll just—“ you start, but then realize you felt eyes burning into you. you look up the moment seonghwa’s gaze shifts, going back to wiping down the bar. “um, i’ll tell you later.”
“okay…” ryujin says, puzzled. she walks back to her section to prep.
your eyes are compelled to shift back up to seonghwa. at this point it just feels embarrassing to be wondering what he’s thinking, wondering if he felt what you felt sunday night. your thoughts are interrupted by hongjoong approaching you with a tall man, someone new.
“this is yunho,” hongjoong says, almost presenting the man to you. “he’s going to be trailing you tonight. just show him the ropes and i’ll grab him once dinner service slows down.”
yunho steps forward, extending a hand to you. “it’s so nice to meet you!” he gives you a warm smile as you shake his hand.
“it’s nice to meet you too, yunho,” you say, surprised by the immediate kindness. this feels a lot nicer than how you’ve been treated before.
tuesday nights are usually slow, even during dinner service. you had a decent amount of tables, but nothing you couldn’t handle. and fortunately the new guy caught on really quickly, grabbing the drinks for your tables, clearing empty plates when needed… working with him was making your shift a breeze.
“you’ve worked in restaurants before, haven’t you?” you ask yunho. you refill a water jug for your table with him in the back.
“yeah, i have,” he says meekly, rubbing the back of his neck. “you can tell?”
“definitely,” you nod with a smile. “what happened at the last place?”
“the management,” he chuckles, and you knew exactly what he meant without any explanation. “don’t tell anyone, but i quit without notice.”
you fake a gasp, pretending to clutch your pearls. you let out a light-hearted laugh. “don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”
yunho gives a sweet smile to you, eye contact lingering a bit. you look down and realize the jug of water started overflowing and quickly move it away, letting out a humored yelp.
“oops,” he whispers, and you both giggle quietly to each other while wiping down the mess.
little did you know, seonghwa was entering the back to switch kegs for the beer on tap, and he walked in on your giggle-fest. he looks between the two of you momentarily as he continues to the back. you don’t even notice him until he passes. in a strange way, you can almost see annoyance radiating off of him. but maybe you’re making things up?
at the end of service, you finish closing all your tabs and count your tips at the bar with ryujin and wooyoung. yunho was in the back with hongjoong, debriefing the shift. you assumed seonghwa was in the back too, but you pushed away the curiosity.
“what a slow night,” ryujin sighs. she holds up her measly few bills and fakes a cry.
“how was training the new guy?” wooyoung inquires, packing his things.
“it was really good,” you can’t help but smile a little too big. your face drops when seonghwa walks back out to the bar, carrying a pack of beer to restock. you swear he steals a glance at you before kneeling down to refill the low-boys.
“speak of the devil!” ryujin grins, with all of you shifting your view to see yunho walking to the bar with an apron in hand.
“i think you guys might be seeing a lot more of me from now on,” he says, fake-cockily. the three of you congratulate him, all while seonghwa minds to himself.
“when’s your next shift then?” you ask.
“hongjoong said i’ll train the rest of the week, and then my first day live is sunday,” he says, throwing his bag on his shoulder.
“you know what that means…” wooyoung voices mischievously.
“uhhh, what does that mean?” yunho utters, a curious expression on his face.
“sunday celebration!” ryujin throws her hands up in excitement.
“what the hell is sunday celebration?” yunho laughs.
“basically,” ryujin starts, “it’s where we all go out after our shift to a dive bar nearby and drink away our sorrows. but this time we can drink in ACTUAL celebration!”
“i could be down for that,” yunho says. he looks directly to you. “will i see you there?”
your lips part to answer, but your ears are punctured by glass shattering, and the sound of beer fizzing on the floor. your head snaps over to see seonghwa grumbling and picking up the pieces.
“party foul!” wooyoung says jokingly, but then was met with seonghwa’s glare. “kidding…”
you stand from the bar stool and gather your things, taking the cue to leave. “i’m gonna head out. yunho, see you tomorrow?”
“yup,” he says, holding back a smile. “i’ll see you then.”
you turn to walk to the door, feeling eyes like daggers piercing your back.
seonghwa is messing up a lot lately. which is very unlike him, being that he’s a perfectionist. you rang up an order of drinks for your tables, and yeah it was quite a few drinks, but you had never seen him mistake a gin martini for a vodka martini. you approach the drink pass with the misfired drink, setting it down.
“seonghwa,” you call to him, pointing at the drink. “i need a gin martini.”
“that IS a gin martini,” he says flatly, filling a beer from the tap. so sure of himself.
“no,” you insist. “this is vodka.”
he approaches the pass, setting down the beer with its appropriate ticket. he plucks a cocktail straw to do a straw taste of the drink. but with the sip, he wasn’t remotely shaken. he just tosses the liquid in the sink, remaking it without a word.
“you just gonna stand there and watch?” he says while stirring the beverage.
“are you gonna make it right this time?” you snap.
he places the drink on the pass, clearly pissed off. he slams the ticket next to the drink and glares at you, almost too close. you feel the huffs of his irritated breaths fanning your face, and for the first time since that night, you really look at each other. but all that was tangible in the air was anger.
“run your drink, princess.” he enunciates your nickname, packing a punch.
after finishing your closing duties, you’re ready to leave and put this shift behind you. you wave goodbye to your coworkers and start heading out the back door, it being held open by a loose brick. just as your feet hit the pavement of the alley, you hear your name being called behind you.
“wait!” you turn to yunho calling after you, and stopping in the doorway. “you leaving?”
“oh, uh, yeah,” you say, adjusting your tote bag on your shoulder. “i got all my side work done so i’m heading home.”
“oh, okay,” he says shyly, obviously with a second thought on his mind.
you look at each other for a moment, but not out of awkwardness, just with a peculiar feeling of enticement.
“so um, how was training with wooyoung today?” you ask.
“oh yeah,” yunho laughs. “it was good. he’s really funny with his tables.”
“yeah, that guy’s definitely a yapper,” you both giggle to each other in amusement.
“sooo… you’re walking home?” he asks, leaning on the frame of the door.
“i usually walk home, i don’t live that far,” you explain.
“me too! maybe i can walk you—“ yunho gets cut off by seonghwa barging into the doorway.
“can i borrow her for a sec?” seonghwa says, barely making it a question.
yunho hesitantly nods, “yeah, um, i guess i’ll see you later?” he says to you, giving you a small wave.
“yeah, i’ll see you tomorrow yunho,” you force a smile, with a pleading HELP ME written behind your eyes.
seonghwa leads you to the walk in, slamming the door behind him. he hovers over you and you can literally see the heat fuming off of him.
“what do you want, seonghwa?” you ask bluntly, trying your best not to sound intimidated.
“we need to talk,” he growls at you, stepping forward, forcing you to press up against the wall behind you.
“about what?” you quip with a begging tone. is this really the time to talk about it?
your eyes bore into each other, faces inches apart. his snarl nearly dissipates when he rips his eyes away from yours for a moment to glance at your lips. you blink up at him in temptation. you can feel the tension in the air, wondering if it was contempt or all encompassing desire. perhaps it was both.
“th–that shit you pulled earlier, don’t do it again,” seonghwa hesitantly lets out, nearly losing his composure.
“what, when you fucked up my drink order?” you ask.
“when you grilled me in the middle of service,” he defends.
“for fucking up, yeah,” you say, crossing your arms. “doesn’t feel nice to be scolded for your mistakes, does it?”
he glares at you for a beat, clearly unsure how to dig himself out of this hole. a hole that he dug. as if he snapped out of a trance, he steps back slightly. he clenches his jaw, and in a swift motion, withdraws from the walk-in. you’re left alone, still pressed up against the icy wall. a rolling cloud escapes your lips, making you realize you had been holding your breath.
it felt like sunday night didn’t come soon enough. this weekend was busier than usual, so all the running around on top of the rigidity of seonghwa was making you go mad. it’s difficult to avoid someone you hate when you have to retrieve drink orders from him all day. luckily, he just reserved to himself and you followed suit.
throwing your bag onto the bar, you slump into the bar seat at the end of the night.
“here,” hongjoong passes a shift beer to each of the servers at the bar, including you. “you guys need these after this weekend.”
you give a thank you while cracking it open, taking a big gulp. you let out a big sigh of relief.
“you’re right, hongjoong,” you say blissfully. “i did need this.”
ryujin snickers next to you, nudging your shoulder. “there will be plenty more at sunday celebration, don’t you worry.”
“speaking of,” san says, grabbing the shoulders of yunho. “congrats on your first live shift, yunho!”
“yeah, how was it?” you ask. you can’t help but smile at the beaming man.
“it went…” yunho starts, pausing for effect. “swimmingly.”
“sounds like a cause for celebration!” ryujin sing-songs, raising her beer in salute.
you all raise your glasses, short one person of course: seonghwa, who was mopping down the bar floor. after a hefty drink, wooyoung crushes his can first and tosses it in the trash.
“let’s start celebrating, sannie,” wooyoung says, throwing his arm over san’s shoulder. (seriously, what the hell is going on there?)
san and wooyoung book it out the door and ryujin follows soon after, finishing her beer and beckoning you to join.
“almost done, you go ahead!” you encourage, packing up your things hap-hazardly with one hand and chugging your beer with the other.
“shit, you guys drink fast,” yunho says, swishing his beer around to hear how much he has left. with a laugh he says, “wish i could just take this to go.”
“i won’t tell,” you whisper to him, grabbing him to join you. “walk with me?”
“okay,” yunho smiles, almost looking like he had stars in his eyes.
you two waltz out the door, leaving seonghwa at the bar cleaning alone. and with your eyes finally averted away, he can finally have no shame in watching you intently out the window. he is so fucked.
“here’s to yunho!” mingi hosts the cheers, with everyone raising their glasses, clinking them together and collectively taking a drink.
“guys,” yunho says with his face still contorted from the liquor. “thank you so much. you’ve all been so welcoming!”
“of course, you’re part of the fam now!” san smiles, wrapping his arm around the man’s shoulders.
everyone takes their respective seats and mingle amongst each other, all while taking more shots and drinking more beer. you, of course, were sat with ryujin and wooyoung talking about the latest work drama.
“have you guys noticed something different about seonghwa lately?” wooyoung asks. “like when he broke that beer the other night? i swear, the whole year i’ve worked here i’ve never seen him break a thing.”
“dude, yes,” ryujin says, leaning in. “he fucked up a couple of my drink orders today. so weird.”
“he’s definitely been in a bad mood lately,” you mumble, holding back from telling your secret.
“yeah, more than usual,” ryujin rolls her eyes. “he probably just needs to get laid.”
you choke back a bit on your drink, taken off guard by the comment. you realize the problem is not that he needs to get laid, but that he did get laid. and now he’s being tortured by seeing the poor girl at work every day. why did he have to sleep with you when you know he feels nothing but disdain for you? are you just a toy to him? you begin to feel dizzy, partly from the alcohol, but also from the thoughts spinning in your head.
“you okay?” wooyoung asks you, handing you a water. you nod and take the drink from him, but his eyes are quickly diverted to the bar. “oh shit, seonghwa is here.”
“what?” ryujin tries her best to look subtly. “do you think our shit-talking manifested him?”
“i don’t know,” you huff, trying to figure out a way to avoid him. “but i’m gonna go sit on the patio.”
“there’s a patio?” yunho chimes in, hearing the last bit. “can i join?”
you smile and nod, leading him back. this will be a good distraction.
“so…” you start, leaning against the wooden patio covering. “how do you like it here? at the restaurant, i mean.”
“it’s definitely different,” yunho laughs. he leans on the covering next to you. “everyone is super nice, the food is good… and it’s nice to work for a local business. the management seems to really care about the employees.”
“definitely, hongjoong is great manager.” you nod to him.
“it’s actually crazy,” yunho starts. “i’ve never seen so many attractive people all working in one place before.”
“what, like ryujin? or wooyoung? or san?” you giggle, realizing he was right. you do have a LOT of hot coworkers.
“well, sure,” yunho says shyly. “but no, i meant you.”
“oh,” you say, caught off guard. you suddenly feel a lot more drunk. you look up at him momentarily, him leaning closer to you.
if someone else saw this body language from an outside perspective, they’d think that he looks like he wants to kiss you. and so what if he did? would it be the worst thing in the world to entertain this, even after your mess with seonghwa?
yunho leans in and places a soft kiss on your lips, quick but sweet. when he pulls away, you’re left looking at him with an unreadable expression, but in your mind, you were reeling.
there was something… missing. and it irritated the fuck out of you. yunho did give you butterflies, but you wonder if it’s just because it feels nice to have attention on you. especially from someone that’s actually kind and seems like he actually wants to get to know you. but in your crazy toxic head, you realize what was missing. passion.
“i-i’m so sorry, i shouldn’t have done that,” yunho says, touching his fingertips on his lips.
“no, no,” you say, grabbing his arm. “it’s okay.”
before yunho can get out a word, the back door shuts with seonghwa walking out, witnessing the scene. you can’t resist stepping back slightly from yunho, as if it’s not too late to be caught. he looks between you and seonghwa, adding two and two together just from the tension alone.
“i think i’m gonna head back inside,” yunho says, rubbing the back of his neck. “sorry, again.”
“yunho, wait,” you call after him, but he already shuts the door behind him.
“let him leave,” seonghwa commands, leaning against the wall.
“what are you even doing here, seonghwa?” you ask, already putting your guard up.
“the fuck are you doing with the new guy?” he says, placing a cigarette between his lips and lighting it with a match. of course he’s one of those pretentious dudes that uses a fucking match to light a cig.
“since when do you smoke?” you say, desperately trying to change the subject.
“i don’t,” he says casually, blowing a cloud into the air. “just been stressed lately.”
“i can tell,” you say, raising an eyebrow. “it’s like you forgot how to bartend.”
“it’s not just work,” he says, brushing off the insult you threw at him. “it’s also you.”
“what about me?” you basically refuse, shaking your head. “i’ve been doing exactly what you want me to do. i don’t talk to you, i don’t look at you. i pretty much avoid you at all costs. you’re off the hook, seonghwa. you don’t have to worry about me bothering you.”
“who says that’s what i wanted?” seonghwa says, finally looking directly to you.
“you didn’t have to say it,” you spit at him, forcing him silent.
the air feels heavy. seonghwa struggles to find words for what he wanted to say. he looks down again, ashing his half-smoked cigarette. the back door opens to wooyoung and san following after him, both opting to sit in the patio chairs in the corner. they continue their conversation, and seonghwa looks to you.
“we should talk somewhere more private,” he says, motioning to your coworkers. he’s already grabbing his keys from his pocket.
“why, so you can keep being an asshole to me without an audience?” you say.
“because i want to finish what we started,” he mumbles, walking out of the patio and to the back parking lot.
you try your best to resist, but curiosity overcame you as you follow.
after a short but tense drive, you arrive at what seems to be seonghwa’s apartment. he shuts the engine off and jumps out of his car. you slowly try to register what the hell is happening, unbuckling and hopping out. seonghwa doesn’t look back you, he just continues walking, knowing you’re trailing after him. he unlocks his front door, letting both of you in. he closes the door behind you, watching you examine your surroundings.
“this is exactly how i imagined your place,” you say, almost to yourself.
“you’ve been imagining my apartment?” he smirks.
“yeah,” you scoff. “it’s just as cold and rigid as you.”
“thanks,” he mutters sarcastically.
“so now what?” you say expectantly. “you bring me back here yell at me? make me cry?”
“there’s only one scenario i want of you crying,” he says, stepping closer to where he’s leaning over you. you suddenly feel stone-cold sober.
“and what’s that?” you say, tongue in your cheek, pretending not to know exactly what’s about to happen. and pretending you don’t want it so bad.
seonghwa grabs your cheek, beckoning your face closer to his. his eyes bore into yours, before landing down to your lips. not holding back anymore, he presses his lips onto yours with purpose. your lips meld into his, placing your hands on his chest. your kiss deepens in fervor, as if the hunger completely took over both of you. soon enough, you’re moving together towards his bedroom, clothes and inhibitions shedding along the way.
you fall back onto the bed with seonghwa standing over you. he takes off his belt while looking down at you with a look that can only be described as burning desire. once he discards his pants, he slowly runs his fingers across your panty-clad core. you’re embarrassed by how fucking wet you are already, slightly closing your legs around him.
“no no, princess,” he smirks down at you, licking his lips. “keep them open for me.”
you do as your told, letting him push your underwear to the side and feeling the wetness between your folds. he gathers some of your slick and brings his fingers to his mouth, savoring it.
“fuck,” he tilts his head up as he groans, unintentionally bucking his hips against the edge of the bed. “you taste so fucking good.”
with one hand gripping your thigh, the other hand dips back to your heat to slowly insert his middle finger in you. he lets you adjust momentarily before sliding in his ring finger, curling them both. he thrusts in and out, all while watching you squirm under his touch. he just watches in awe, mouth hanging open as he fixates on your pussy enveloping his digits, coating them with your essence. he releases the hand on your thigh to palm himself at the sight. he twitches in his underwear, precum soaking through at the tip.
as if he couldn’t take it anymore, he withdraws his fingers from inside you and rips your underwear, completely tearing the fabric to have more access to you. he tugs his bottoms down to release his aching cockhead, the tip leaking in a long drip onto you. he guides his member down the length of your core to gather your juices and stimulating your clit all the while.
with an elongated hiss, he enters you slowly. you’re taking every inch of him, pulsating around him. you moan with him as he starts rolling his hips into you. you can feel his head hitting every inch of your walls, the pressure making you moan in sweet agony. your sounds ring in his ears, savoring the whimpers you let out just for him. this quickens his pace, still driving into you with cadence.
he’s literally fucking you into the mattress, splitting you open with vigor. you find it impossible to keep from tightening around him in pleasure, and he loses a bit of his rhythm. he pulls out of you completely.
“you’re gonna make me cum if you keep squeezing me like that,” he says between exasperated breaths. he holds his length above you, slapping it onto your core. he bites his lip to hold back a groan before grabbing your waist to switch positions.
he sits up on the bed and places you on top of him. he holds your waist as he guides you down onto his cock. he examines every inch of your face, reveling at the way it contorts at the feeling of him entering you. once you adjust to him again, you start moving. you ride him, throwing your head back. seonghwa takes the opportunity to kiss and bite at the expanse of your neck. he moans as he begins thrusting upwards in tandem with you. he’s hitting all the right spots, and your bodies move together like a dance.
the moans you let out are uncontrollable, a testament to the overwhelming pleasure coursing through you. it feels like no one’s ever made you feel this way, feel this good. and maybe it’s true; maybe no one has ever awakened this primal, animalistic desire within you. it feels addictive, and you could not get enough. you pull him closer, yearning to feel every inch of his glistening body against yours, desperate for your forms to meld together in an all-encompassing embrace.
he crashes his lips to yours in a fervent kiss, a surge of passion pouring through and intensifying with every passing second. he reaches his hand down to toy with your clit, forcing you off his lips to let out a wanton moan. you core clenches around his length and a wave of stimulation transcends your body.
“cum with me, baby,” seonghwa lets out softly, continuing to thrust into you and toying with your clit.
you throw your head back in ecstasy, all while seonghwa’s eyes devour every inch of you, mesmerized by the sounds of your moans, the sweat trickling down your neck. each movement and touch sends shivers down his spine, solidifying his obsession with you. he wishes with every fiber of his being he could immortalize this sight in his mind forever. he is absolutely captivated by you.
“you’re so fucking beautiful,” he murmurs before resting his hand just below the side of your face.
his jaw goes slack when your core clenches erratically around him, drinking up this view as you completely come undone on his cock. he continues to piston into you until he follows immediately after, no longer holding back his moans of euphoria.
as your hips both begin to slow to a stop, seonghwa pulls you off of him, eyes still full of unrelenting lust.
“get on top of me,” he says, pulling you to straddle his face. “i want to taste myself in you.”
his hands grip your thighs as he guides your folds to his eager mouth. as soon as your core meets his tongue, a moan escapes his lips. his seed is still spilling out of you, and he licks up every drop with determination. your hips are still above him, hesitant to put your full weight on him.
“i need you sit on my face,” he says between licks. “i want you to fucking suffocate me.”
his hands on your thighs urge you down, letting you become fully seated on his mouth. he devours you, exploring every inch of you. you rock your hips against his tongue, each motion intensifying your pleasure. his hands encourage you to move faster, to take what you want from him. he separates from your core briefly to groan.
“baby, fuck my tongue,” he commands, attaching back onto you, granting you full access to his mouth.
you let his tongue slide into you and thrust onto it, all while his nose bumps at your clit. you feel the tension building in your stomach once again. the overstimulation sends you spiraling, hips continuing to grind onto his hungry tongue. you see his eyebrows knitting together in bliss, the vibrations of his insistent moans sending a pang throughout your body.
“seonghwa, p-please,” you beg, as if you weren’t the one on top of him, fucking his mouth. his dominance overtook you in every way, no matter what position. “i’m going to cum.”
he nods as if he’s saying, ‘yes, please cum on my face, please let me feel you,’ but is stifled by the grinding of your hips. he flattens his tongue so you can thrust your folds on him, and he’s smirking with lust behind his eyes. you let out a cry in pure bliss, your core contracting and spilling your essence onto his lips. he swallows every drop before latching his mouth back onto your clit, prolonging your orgasm. your movements slow down, and you let out a satisfied moan.
you fall off of him, positioning to rest your head on his chest. the waves of pleasure start to subside, and the only thing that can be heard in the silent air was the synchronization of your heartbeats. then reality hits you.
“seonghwa,” you say quietly. “what are we doing? why are we doing this?”
“i don’t know,” he sighs, bringing his hand up to run his fingers through your hair. he struggles to find the right words. “i just… i don’t think i want this to stop.”
you lift your head up, almost thinking it’s a joke. but when you look into his eyes, you can tell he’s being genuine.
“but… but you hate me,” you say.
“i could never hate you,” he urges. he places his hand on your cheek, stroking softly.
you want so badly to believe him, to trust the softness in his eyes. but a voice in the back of your head reminds you that this is temporary, this isn’t real for him, and urges you to not fall for this trap. your mind plays over the past few weeks of turmoil between you. you recall every harsh word, every cold stare, and wonder if this moment of tenderness can truly outweigh all of that pain. is it worth risking your heart again?
“then i need you to explain yourself,” you say, pushing his hand away. “tell me why you’ve been like this with me.”
he sits up, taking a deep breath. “i’ve been so fucking stupid,” he shakes his head. “i think all these years of working at a restaurant kind of roughed me up. i think i built these walls to try and prove myself in the industry, to prove something to myself. and it made me become someone i don’t even like.”
he meets your gaze, seeing your anticipation for him to continue.
“and then i met you, and i still had these walls. i walked all over you and made you feel like shit. and what’s so fucked up about it is that despite that, i actually started to like you,” he runs his fingers through his hair. “i was scared. i’m still scared.”
you never expected him to be this vulnerable with you, let alone confess his feelings for you. you sit up and kiss him softly, intimately.
in that moment, the barriers between you begin to crumble. it’s not going to be easy, but for the first time, you find yourself on the same page.
“i don’t know what comes next,” you say softly. “but we can be scared together.”
a/n: guys i am so proud of this one! i hope i successfully portrayed the intensity between them. shit got my heart racing personally. again, im new to writing fics so plz leave feedback and reblog to support me! thank u sooooo much ♡
edit: sadly there will be no part 3, but i will be releasing something new within the next week or so, so stay tuned 🫶🏻
✰taglist✰ @trinityhasjams @mxnsxngie @sooberryworld @mingtinysworld @spenceatiny18
#park seonghwa#ateez#ateez fanfic#ateez x reader#ateez smut#ateez fic#seonghwa smut#seonghwa x reader#ateez one shot
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Thinking of the first time the 141 discover you on a website for Sugar Babies (P3)
cw: sexual content, reader sending nudes, mention of sex work (Sugar babies), NSFW Gender neutral reader
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Thinking about the first time you sent more…risky photos to your mystery account of four men. For the first few months it was going really well for you. You were financially stable enough to
pay your tuition fees and your bills on time. You could finally treat yourself to things you couldn’t previously afford, and the boys love receiving little pictures of the things you buy yourself. Honestly, you were stable enough to quit this and apply for a “proper' Job, but there was a big part of you that didn’t want to leave this all behind. In a weird way, you grew very attached to these strangers on the other side of the world who paid you just to talk to them. They helped you during your toughest moments, even when they didn’t have to do anything. In a way, you were grateful for opening this account on a whim and meeting these little strangers.
And so, you considered maybe it was time to give them a little gift for all they've done for you.
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You knew that a big part of this website was exchanging nudes and dirty pictures for money, but you had never really taken advantage of that specific service before. Infact, the men didn’t even seem to initiate anything sexual with you at all, and were perfectly happy just chatting with you and every now and then getting a cute selfie to tell you how gorgeous you looked.
But because they weren’t going to ask for more, you decided you had to make that plunge yourself. You weren’t sure if you knew what you were doing. You didn’t go out to buy any expensive costume or underwear for the photo, just stripped down to your cheap everyday undergarments and…posed. Or at least tried to. There was an awkward phase of switching to random positions to try and find one that didn’t look too forced. You weren’t too sure if the photos you took were any good. In fact, your critical mind was telling you that they were horrific. You had picked the one photo that you considered to be ‘less bad’ than the rest and your finger was hovering over the send button as you considered giving in to embarrassment and turning around now. But, you swallowed the lump in your throat and clicked. All that was left for you to do is wait.
Switching to the 141s pov, There was some downtime after completing a rather difficult mission. John was sending a report to lasswell about the details of what went down, reporting back on the intel and the status of their target. Simon was in his corner, per usual, dulling his knife on a block of wood to carve it into shape. Kyle had found a spot on the floor he could lie down in without being disturbed, absolutely buggered after the whole ordeal. And then there was Soap…
The boys decided to rotate shifts on who gets the laptop per day. As of right now, Johnny had it open beside him while he patted dust and sand out of his shoes, not focusing on the screen until a little ‘Ding!’ noise signified you had sent something. He finally looked over and scrolled to your new message, his eyelids shooting open and his mouth hanging open as he releases a very audible “Jesus fuckin’ Christ…” Suddenly he had the attention of all three other men in that room, heads turning in his direction as if a gunshot went off. Johnny rushed to close the laptop in a desperate, possessive attempt to keep his comrades leering eyes of your body. Simon tried to wrestle the laptop from Johnnys, as the latter told him in many colourful words to “fuck off and mind your own business.”
Between the two tusling each other, Kyle getting up and manoeuvring to see what the fuss was about, and John attempting to break up the fight, the laptop slipped from Soaps hands and on to the floor in front of them, screen open and revealing the entire image to all four of them.
Any “Flaw” You had perceived in the photo was entirely nonexistent when it met their eyes. They stood and stared at the picture for what felt like hours, just admiring the form they had only seen in their imaginations. The soft curves of your uncovered chest, outlined by the stray light of the window making you look like an angel from heaven. Their eyes traced down your chest to your abdomen, down to your clothed core that you displayed with shyly spread legs to them. They didn’t even notice, nor care about the cheap piece of cotton; too enamoured by the outlined imprint of your sex against the fabric that they swore was calling their name.
On your side of the world, you were thinking yourself into a stupor as the little “seen” status appeared on screen but no one was saying anything. So much anxiety coursed through your veins that you had bitten your nails until there wasn’t much left of them. You wondered if maybe you made a mistake. Was it too far? Did you potentially ruin the few people who cared about your day and your only source of income?
Just as the thought of deleting your account and getting a one-way ticket to another country out of embarrassment started to play at your mind, the laptop pinged. Messages popped up on your screen. Four, exactly.
“Jesus christ you are a proper sight to behold.” (Gaz)
“The things I’d do to those pretty fuckin’ thighs of yours if I got the chance…” (Soap)
“Fuckin’ Gorgoeus.” (ghost)
“You’ve caused quite a stir here, love. Never seen the boys this pent up before. Can’t say I blame them. You’ve got me a little stiff here as well.” (Price)
#call of duty#soap x reader#task force 141#price x reader#cod x reader#cod fluff#call of duty x reader#task force 141 x reader#cod fanfic#call of duty smut#soap mactavish x reader#john mactavish x reader#johnny soap mactavish x reader#soap x you#johnny mactavish x reader#tf 141#tf 141 x reader#tf 141 x you#tf141 smut#poly tf141#cod 141#poly 141#cod#john price x reader#captain john price x reader#captain price x reader#john price x you#john price smut#gaz x reader#gaz x you
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a/n ; a continuation-not-really from this from more of kaiser's pov
childhood bestfriend!kaiser who tries to teach you soccer when he buys his soccer ball, but you’re so unbelievably bad at it, tripping over your own feet and not understanding how to maneuver them properly. kaiser doesn’t understand the extent of his teasing so he laughs and mocks you a little more than he should, (“wow, haha, how are you so horrible this!? it’s so simple!”) only for you to silently cry angry tears and telling him you don’t want to play anymore.
he panics, obviously, because he’s just made the only person that he gives a genuine fuck about in the world cry and he feels the ghost of his father watching over him when you glance back at him with teary eyes as you hide your face. a gut-wrenching fear twists inside him because the absolute last thing he wants to do to you is make you cry in a similar manner like his father to him, when he’d drunkenly slur out insults at his own child and barely registering what he said.
he’s heard the word before—“sorry”—but he’s never really gotten a grasp of its full depth until now. because now he knows what it’s like to stand on the other side of the line, and like clockwork, the moment the guilt registers fully in himself, he’s spewing the word like fire.
“i’m sorry… i didn’t mean it.”
“sorry, i was just teasing, i swear!”
“(y/n)… please look at me, i’m really sorry…”
your lip juts out when kaiser attempts to pull your shoulder in an effort to make you look at him. you sniff and finally gaze at him with reddened eyes and crystalline-line tears flowing down your face slowly.
“you mean it…?” you ask quietly, wiping your arm over your face.
kaiser nods profusely, hands shaking when another group of tears fall down as you blink slowly. “yeah. i’m super sorry, i was only joking… you’re not that bad…”
“‘that’ bad?” you question with furrowed brows.
“well, you’re not that good, to be fair,” he states without filtering himself, a flaw he has yet to realize he has. he takes note of your appalled look and quickly fixes himself up before you start crying again.
“b-but, i can teach you how to dribble so you don’t fall on your face again…” he mutters, kicking the dirt while avoiding your face to avoid letting more guilt seep into himself.
he peeks at you from the side of his hoodie and sees a soft grin on your lips, his shoulders relaxing. facing you, he sees that despite the tear-streaked cheeks and puffy eyes, you show him a smile that clearly forgives his apology. relief floods over him and he quickly picks up the soccer ball, placing it in front of you and telling you how to position yourself.
from that day on, kaiser had vowed to himself that the last thing he wanted to do to you was to make you cry. when the face of his father flashed across his mind as he saw a glimpse of himself when he stared at your crying face, he swore that in no universe would you ever have to emulate such pain from him out of all people. he’d be the one to wipe your tears, not cause them.
but after a few years long streak of upholding his self-vow, all things finally come to an end eventually, for the first time since he had gotten arrested, bailed out, and salvaged himself at bastard mündchen’s clubhouse to better his football skills, leaving you in the dust of your hometown without a word of where he was. he left you to worry about his whereabouts and his wellbeing for years, waiting and waiting for the day he returned to your father’s bakery back door step until you moved out to the city.
and now you stand before him, a few years older and wiser and more beautiful, in the subway, your eyes he had yearned to see for so long since his disappearance staring into his own…
… with a river of tears flowing from them.
#“i hate kaiser” i say as i add another kaiser fanart into my folder#snowbunny effect question mark#who said that#blue lock#bllk#blue lock x reader#bllk x reader#michael kaiser#kaiser#michael kaiser x you#michael kaiser x reader#kaiser x reader#kaiser x you#mini series ; cbf!kaiser
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SNAP OUT OF IT | SPENCER REID
Spencer knows he’s just a coworker. He knows he’s just a friend. He knows you’ve got a boyfriend. He just doesn’t really give a fuck!
Word Count: 5.5k
Warning/Includes: Taken!Reader, DownBad!Spencer, a little angst and a little smut.
Dedicated to wifetthew + future mrs stewart (and sidepiece) who inspire me everyday and don’t even realize it.
Spencer vividly remembers the moment he realized he was in love with you. Spencer remembers everything about you but this moment in particular, he recounts in his mind a lot. You had just joined the unit. He could tell you - you'd only been there three months, two weeks, and five days. You were flying across time zones so by the time you landed, it would be six days. Everyone else had fallen asleep or was nearly there. Save for you two. You tried your hand in a round of chess but you're shit at it so you'd taken to a game of cards. Spencer remembers thinking it was the easiest conversation he's ever had in his life. He could talk and talk and talk until he lost his breath and when he was done, you'd do the same until there was no air left in your lungs either. He shuffled the cards between his fingertips, hanging onto your every word, watching the sparkle in your eye as you spoke. He kept firing out subtle agreements between your words like, 'yeah...oh, I know...absolutely,’ not just because it's impossible to disagree with your pretty face but because you’re so smart. You get it. He actually had the thought: she gets it.
Finally, he thought, someone gets it.
And you felt just the same. You said to him, "Thank you for agreeing. No one ever gives a shit about my foreign film analysis."
"I...I give a shit."
You chuckled at the gentleness with which he swore and although his voice was soft, it was genuine. "I appreciate it. My boyfriend's unreasonably against the horror genre as a whole. I think it's his biggest flaw. I like being scared."
Because you were too busy counting up your cards, you couldn’t see the bright smile instantly drop from Spencer's face. He could feel the shift in his muscles, the way his eyes stretched wide. He promptly shifted his gaze down and cleared his throat, “B-boyfriend?"
"Yeah..." you shrugged. Very casual, very nonchalant. "Three years next month."
"Oh, wow," he replied and it sounded kind of snide but you didn't think much of it. “That's nice."
He had realized he was in love with you three years too late.
Spencer could have accepted defeat, yeah. Absolutely. If there's one thing the boy genius can do, it's compartmentalize. This is work. This is [y/n]. This is my coworker. This is our job. This is our jet. These are the cards we've been dealt. The best thing to do would be to play them as they fall. Yet, he keeps himself awake for six hour flights just to hold your undivided attention, to talk about things nobody else cares about. His eyes linger on you as you deliver a profile and he thinks: That's [y / n]. That's her face. That's her voice. That's the sweater that matches her eyes just right and the boots she wears when we travel down south. If there's one thing the boy genius can't do when it comes to you, it's compartmentalize. How could he?
He finds himself standing by the elevator at four in the morning. There is nothing exciting about being called in at four in the morning, save for the prospect of seeing you. The elevator dings and he stands up straight, poses his satchel just perfectly on his hip. He wants to be picture perfect ready. Like a model directly out of a Backup Boyfriend catalog. Although, when you step out, you don't even notice he's there. You storm through the bullpen, your phone held up to your ear and your head ducked down. You sequester yourself in an awkward corner, far enough that you feel secluded but not enough so that Spencer can't see you. He sways in place, an attempt to look casual, his hair tucked behind his ear so he can hear you better. He picks up strained words like, 'please...I don't know...okay...fine...bye!' It all comes to a sudden end, your thumb landing on the screen with such force that it could crack.
You seamlessly join the rest of the team, shoving your phone in your back pocket. Try as you might to shift your focus, the edge hasn't quite left your body so when Spencer asks, "You okay?" You respond with a curt, "Yeah. I'm fine.”
He thinks: That's fine. That's okay. I can take it. On the jet, you bury your nose in a case file and when your phone won't stop vibrating, you silence it completely. Spencer brings you a cup of coffee and you hardly even process it.
"Cream and extra sugar," he pips because he knows that's how you like it.
"Thanks.”
That's it. Spencer waits for more but it never comes. He sits on the opposite side of the jet, watching you pick up your phone, huff, and type, type, type in a rage. He thinks: I cannot take this.
The case is a good distraction. A relief for him to know that even when you are not yourself, you're still brilliant. You just can't help it. There's a moment where he just finishes the geographical profile and you stand at his side, arms crossed as you look it over. Your gasp cuts through the air like a knife and his eyes land on you instantaneously.
"Spencer Reid." You put your hand on his shoulder and oh, he almost drops to his knees. “You're a fucking genius."
You race out of the room and he exhales a breath he didn't even know he was holding. He grips onto his shoulder and his skin is still red hot.
A win is good. You needed a win. You all needed a win. Makes you feel good for something. Makes the flight home much less suffocating than its departure. On top of solving murders in a rush, the mental gymnastics your brain has endured over the week leaves you exhausted. You pull a blanket over your body and snuggle against the solid walls of the jet. You let out this big, heavy sigh just as Spencer sits down across from you.
“Close call today, huh?” he says.
“Yeah,” you nod. You look up at him with these bleary eyes and they’re so beautiful that he doesn’t think he’ll be able to talk.
But he does, “All thanks to you.”
You smile. You want to be bashful, to deny the praise, but you don’t have the energy. “Thanks for the pat on the back.”
“Oh, anytime.”
He watches you take another deep breath, your body lulling into further peace by the second. He hates to disrupt it. “You, uh…” he stutters. “You wanna share what’s been bothering you now?”
You glance over at him from the corner of your eye, “Is it that obvious?”
“Only to a profiler.”
You chuckle. He loves to make you laugh. “It’s nothing,” you shake your head.
“You…you know I’m the profiler, right?”
You sit up, another laugh escaping your throat without much thought. It feels nice. “Yeah. Right.”
“So?”
“I’m just…stressed…” you finally admit, though that part was evident.
“Blackjack?” He sets an array of cards in front of you.
You nod, “I have a stressful job. Hit me.”
He flips another card, “Five. Yeah, you do.”
“And…it’s hard when…when things at home are stressful, too. Makes it worse. Hit me.”
Another card, “Ooh, six. That makes sense.”
“Sometimes, I…I don’t know…I let myself get pulled in too many different directions,” you look over your cards, dangerously close to 21, and you take a leap of faith. “Hit me.”
He turns the final card over and it brings you right to 21. The way it unfolds shocks you, pulls you from your brain fog and you break out in a grin. “21? That’s 21, right?”
“Yeah,” he nods. He bites down on the smile on his lip and it’s a look on him you’ve never seen before. You can’t stop staring at it. “All you, money bags.”
You giggle, “Did you rig that?”
“Me? No,” he shakes his head, casually clearing the pile. “There’s no rigging in blackjack.”
“Oh, yeah, sure. I’ve heard that before.”
“Everything should be that easy for you,” he whispers. There’s a slight change in his tone that even an untrained profiler could pick up. He glances up to meet your gaze, “I’d rig it all for you if I could.”
Now, he thinks because he’s resetting the table that you’re not focused on the subliminal message in his voice. But you notice. You look down at your cards, look back at him, “Hit me.”
When the boyfriend is a concept, an idea trapped inside your phone, a mirage that you only mention in passing conversation, Spencer doesn’t think much of him. Spencer doesn’t think of the motherfucker at all. You clock into work and he’s determined to take the time he can get with you, any way he can, the only way he knows how.
You get back into DC one night and the sun hasn’t even set yet. Emily and JJ invite you out for drinks and it’s with an anxious nod that you accept. So Spencer super graciously accepts. He strides beside you on the walk from the bureau, keeping you tucked in on the safety of the sidewalk because he doesn’t know how to not shield you. From anything. You order a wine and a glass of water. Spencer sits right beside you and orders himself a shirley temple.
You gasp, “Ohhh my god, I should’ve got that.”
“Here,” he slides the glass over to you.
“Oh, no, no. It’s okay.”
“No, take it.”
“I can’t.”
“But I’m offering. I don’t even want it. Maraschino cherries, yuck, gross. You have it.”
You chuckle and shyly grab the drink, sticking a straw in. “Thank you.”
“Mhm,” he nods. And he means that mhm in the way of it’s really no big deal. He’d give you a kidney if he was a match.
He trades you for your water though he doesn’t pay much attention to it. He watches you fall into loud conversation with the other ladies, yours being the only laugh to match Penelope’s in pitch.
You lean into him, cackling, “She’s insane. Oh my god, she’s ridiculous.”
His skin buzzes where your shoulders make contact and his face is bright red from how wide he smiles at you. “Oh, yeah. I could’ve told you that.”
Spencer’s absolutely obsessed with the joy in your eyes, the way you nearly choke on your second shirley temple. The way you’re so close to him. He cannot look away. So when your smile suddenly drops and that joy’s promptly replaced with anxiety, he’s the first to notice.
“Hey,” you whisper to the figure behind him. He turns around and looks the man up and down. “You’re early.”
The Boyfriend shrugs, “Sorry. Hi, everyone.”
He’s not at all like Spencer imagined him. He’s taller. Not as much of a little bitch.
You rise from your seat and wrap your hand around Boyfriend’s bicep. “Uh, this is just some of the team. That’s Emily, Penelope, JJ and, uh, Spencer. This is my boyfriend.”
They all dole out polite waves and smiles. Except for Spencer. He stands up tall and ha, just as he thought, they’re the same height. He gives Boyfriend a stern handshake. “Nice to meet you.”
“Yeah, you too. Spencer? Heard a lot about you.”
“Oh, that’s nice. Haven’t heard that much about you.”
The ladies exchange confused glances and you exhale a quick breath to cut the tension.
“Well, we’ve been together a while. Too much there to sum up in words, I’m sure.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” Spencer nods and here is another smile you’ve never seen on his face before. It’s not genuine. That, you know.
“You ready to go?” Boyfriend asks and you nod.
“Mhm. Bye, you guys!” you wave, falling into the grip of the possessive hand around your waist.
Emily glares at Spencer as he lowers back onto his stool, his eyes not leaving the door even when you’re long out of sight. “You done swinging that thing around?” she mutters.
“Hm?” he hums. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Mhm.”
As Boyfriend opens the car door for you, he can’t help but comment, “So that’s Spencer, huh?”
“Yeah?” you buckle yourself in and it’s an anxious few seconds before he’s buckled in beside you.
“Well, it makes sense now.”
“What?”
“The little toothpick’s in love with you.”
Spencer doesn’t think it’s a coincidence that the time you spend on your phone at work becomes more frequent after that. That you come in looking drained and pale even at ten o’clock in the morning. That, carefully, you distance yourself from him. It’s not a coincidence. It just hurts.
As he reads over a case file, he builds a tower of cards. You can’t help but admire the way his brain splits in two, one side reading and the other stacking each piece just right. It’s cool. You think it’s cool, but there’s not a kind bone in your body today and you snip, “Got nothing better to do?” as you sit across from him. “People are dying.”
“People are always dying. Kind of how we get a paycheck.”
“Mm. How altruistic of you.”
“I’m just passing the time,” he continues to stack. He’s very near the top of the pyramid. “People do all sorts of things to pass time.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah, you know. They spend hours, days, weeks, years…building something. And you know, you would think that would ensure some type of stability or longevity or…anything, right?”
“I guess.”
“But sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes no matter how much time passes or…how much effort you put in,” he places the final two cards on top. “It’s just not meant to last.”
And with a tiny flick of his finger, the whole pyramid comes tumbling down. You can’t help but watch the picturesque scene, the way they float down onto the table in a big mess.
Spencer doesn’t think there’s a chance in hell that you don’t know what he’s talking about. You’re smart. You get it.
You don’t acknowledge it, though.
That night, you can’t sleep. For some reason, you’ve got this idea in your head that if you force your eyes open for a few hours longer, you can make yourself useful on a case that, so far, has no end in sight. The hotel accommodating the team is a nice one. There’s a library on the first floor that they leave open 24/7, perfect for a profiler on the hunt. You flip through the files in the near pitch black, curled up in a chair beside the tiniest lamp in the world. Despite your eye for detail, you don’t even notice when Spencer walks in. Not until he clears his throat.
You look up at him, startled, until you see his face, “Oh,” not the reaction he was hoping for. “Should’ve known you’d find me here.”
“I like to think I’d find you anywhere,” he shrugs. He sits down in the chair beside you and looks over your shoulder. You can smell him from just a foot away but it doesn't affect you. It can’t affect you. “Any luck?”
“No. Care to help?”
“Not at all.”
“Oh, great.”
“[y/n], it’s late. Nothing you can do without brain power.”
“I just hate…” you start, the exclamation coming out before you can hold yourself back. Spencer watches you intently, hanging onto your voice. “T-the detergent they use on the linens. Gives me a headache.”
He sighs, “Yeah. Me too. I swiped some extra pillow mints. Want one?”
“Mhm,” you hold your hand out and unwrap the candy instantly. It helps your anxiety.
Enough so that you open up just a bit more, you tell Spencer about the headache that’s been bashing against your skull all day. “But maybe I’ve just had too much coffee.”
“Or not enough.”
You laugh, “Yeah, no, that must be it.”
Your phone pings in your lap and you check the message very quickly, the small smile that once sat on your lips dissipating in thin air. Just when he wrangled a laugh out of you, Spencer thinks. Of course. He watches your entire mood change in the blink of an eye and he fucking hates it.
“You okay?”
“Yeah,” you sigh. “Yeah…tired. Should probably head to bed.”
“But the detergent?”
You chuckle, “I’ll survive.”
On the elevator ride up to your floor, you rest your back against the wall, Spencer perched right beside you. You keep your eyes closed, your hands gripping the bar for balance. The motion doesn’t help your headache. You gulp, clear your throat, and when you open your eyes, Spencer is staring at you. Shamelessly. You furrow your eyebrows at him, tracking his eyes as they focus in on your mouth.
“Are you looking at my lips?”
He nods, “Mhm.”
“Can you read them?”
“Mhm.”
“I have a boyfriend.”
“Oh,” that snaps him out of his trance and he stands up straight, shaking his head. The elevator dings and he walks off, exasperated, exhausted, exclaiming, “[y/n], who cares?”
Your jaw drops in shock and by the time you step out to follow him, he’s already marched into his room. You scoff as you burst into your own suite. You crash in bed and you lay there tossing and turning for what feels like hours. In reality, it’s only thirty minutes but it’s long enough. Long enough for this unbridle, illogical rage to build within you. Long enough for your mind to fill with thoughts like: who the fuck does he think he is? What the fuck does he know? Oh, I’ll tell him what he doesn’t know. And you hop out of bed. You storm down the hall in your slippers, knocking on Spencer’s door like, ironically, the feds.
Lucky for you, he was nowhere near asleep yet. He swings the door open and he opens his mouth to speak but you beat him to it.
“Listen, Einstein.”
“I’m listening.”
“Just…just because you don't get it doesn’t mean you have the right to shit on my relationship.”
“Who was shitting on your relationship?”
“Stop it.”
“Fine, I was shitting on your relationship.”
“And that’s not fair.”
“But you’re…” and he enunciates this next word very clearly. “Not happy.”
“Don’t tell me what I am. You don’t know anything. You don’t know me or my life. You don’t get to cast judgement.”
“Oh, okay. Okay. Well, then, I’m so happy for you, [y/n]. I am.”
You’ve said all you need to say and you have no interest in hearing any more. You turn around and march away but he persists, “Hey, I really am. I’ll be the first one to buy something off your wedding registry!”
There are no more card games on the jet for a while.
And that sucks, but you’re trying to prove a point here. Spencer knows nothing. Maybe no one’s ever told him that before and maybe that’s why it stings. Maybe that’s why he can hardly look you in the eye, but you’re trying to prove a point here.
You’ve drawn a boundary that should’ve been drawn long ago. Not even because you wanted to but out of spite. Spite can carry you a long way. It has before. The nature of your work makes it easy to clock in and think of nothing else. Focus on nothing other than getting the job done. It’s the moments in between that are hard.
Like tonight, as you’re typing up case notes at your desk. It’s too quiet. It leaves too much room for opportunity. Taking full advantage, Spencer sets a small gift bag in front of you. You tilt your head as you look up at him, your face etched with inhibition.
“I…” he stutters. “I got it a while ago. Thought it’d be a nice birthday present and I won’t see you tomorrow, so…”
You give him a small smile. The ice doesn’t just thaw, it melts. “You didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to. Happy birthday.”
“Thank you,” you dive into the bag, pulling out the hardcover book and holding it flat between your palms. You release a small gust of air from your nose. You touch the textured font of the lettering along the cover. “Oh, Spencer.”
He has to act like the tone in your voice doesn’t have the biggest effect on him. Hearing his name in such a gentle whisper. He just shrugs, “I recognized the limited edition cover while I was in this library near the art museum. It’s a nice library, you’d like it.”
“I love it,” you breathe before you can censor it. “The book. I love the book. It’s wonderful. Thank you.”
“I’m glad.”
There’s so much more to be said. The weight of it all vibrates behind your teeth and you grind them together as you gaze at Spencer. He can see your mouth aching to open but he knows it won’t.
“Well…happy birthday.”
“Thank you.”
“I hope it’s a great one.”
“Thank you.”
And you watch him disappear. You feel your heart sink to the barrel of your stomach, like all the words you’re destined to scream out to him are making you sick.
This nausea lasts well into your birthday. No matter the sheer amount of fuss. No matter the amount of texts or calls or gifts that arrive at your door. You’re sick. Even when you put on your fanciest dress for dinner, you curl up in your office with your new book, finally and for no reason, gathering the courage to open its pages and read the quote recounted on the first page.
“And here you come
with a shield for a heart
and a sword for a tongue”
Happy Birthday, [y/n]
Spencer
You slam the book shut and trap it in the drawer of your desk. You’re sick.
You still eat at your birthday dinner. The love and affection reserved for a day like today helps settle your stomach. You think: I am [y/n]. It’s my birthday. These are my gifts. They are from people who love me. This is my boyfriend. This is my birthday cake. It works, it’s working.
Then he pulls out that fucking ring.
The angle at which he kneels in front of you catches the light just right and the diamond blinds you in the eye. Your mind, along with the entire room, falls silent. For the first time in what feels like a lifetime - silence. When his voice cuts through the thick air, you can see his lips moving, you can hear the vibrations going wah wah wah wah wah. But nothing is as loud as the sound of your own breathing, heavy and rapid. Your hands are over your heart but just to keep it from forcing its way out of your chest. You’re sick.
You’re sick.
Spencer had just gotten in bed. He made it the entire day without allowing himself to call you and now he figures he can force himself to sleep. That is until there’s a booming knock at his door. Now he’s wired. He springs into action like it’s not a potential threat and he throws his body against the door to glance out the peephole.
When he opens it, you are still out of breath. Your chest is heaving and you wheeze with every exhale. His eyes travel down your body, the pretty dress and your beaten and bare feet, the heels dangling from your fingers. The look in your eyes is a mystery to him. It’s laced with exasperation and desperation and he furrows his brows trying to figure it all out. Nonetheless, when he sees you moving towards him, he wraps his arms tight around your waist, opens his mouth and gasps as you kiss him.
He’s quick to close the door behind you, stumbling when you drop your shoes to the ground, but only for a moment. No time for stumbling here. He moans at the sudden grip you take of his hair and his body pushes into yours even more, directing you to his bedroom with just the pressure of his chest.
Never expecting this to happen, let alone tonight, Spencer is quick to swipe away all the books that have piled up on his bed. He promptly takes their place and grabs your waist to pull you back into the kiss. You have to hike your dress up your thighs to properly straddle him but once you, he swears he can feel the warmth all the way to his toes.
Your eyes roll back as he licks all over your neck, attacking your chest with sloppy kisses and sudden bites. You feel his erection raise between your legs and the pressure of it has you moaning directly in his ear. The vibration scratches just the right spot in his brain and he bunches your dress up in his hands, the veins along his arm straining through his skin.
You huff, pull back to look at his face, his eyes hooded and hungry. “What…” you pant. “What am I doing?”
Caught off guard, Spencer can’t do much but blink. And shrug. “What…are you doing?”
You stumble over your words, if that’s what you could even call them. It’s more a collection of whines and one short whimper before you simply carry on. Grab his face, catch his mouth and let it go. Perfect for Spencer, because he didn’t really need an answer.
He follows your lead as you undo the tie on his sweatpants. He pushes and you pull until his throbbing cock is free. You don’t mean to gasp, but you do. It just all feels so unreal, like a dream, like a fantasy. Except it’s not, it’s tangible. You can feel it. You can touch him - and you do. You wrap your hand around him and shudder as he grips onto your forearms. His teeth are clenched tight so it makes it harder for him to kiss you, harder for him to breathe but he keeps you locked in place. If he could talk, he’d beg please don't stop, please. Please, please, please.
And it’s like you can read his mind. Through the ferocity with which he pushes his face into yours, the way his hips buck underneath you, you get it. You’ll give it to him. You pull your panties to the side and just the tip pressing against you sends a visual jolt through your body.
“Yeah?” You whisper. More like - right? This is right? Right?
Almost immediately, Spencer grunts, “Yes. Yes. Yeah,” he could say it in a million other languages if it would get the point across but english is good enough. You lower yourself down on him and thoughtless, he yelps, “Yes!” as he falls back on the bed.
Even though he’s transcended his own body, Spencer keeps his eyes locked on you. His gaze follows your jaw as it drops wide open and both of your moans fall in sync as you start to roll your hips. Spencer’s hand clamps down on your thigh, the other reaching up to touch your face. The tender contact makes your vision blurry but you can still see the way he’s looking at you.
He touches your hair and your jaw and takes a soft sweep over your cheekbone. His thumb runs over your bottom lip. He can feel your breath coming out hot and quiet each time you land on him, the rhythm of your body taking the air out of both of you.
Is this really happening? he thinks. This can’t be happening. But you increase your speed, lower your inhibition, send a shock of pleasure through him so good that he has no choice but to believe it’s real. You catch his thumb between your lips and he grunts, whines out for you, “[y/n]…”
“Mm, yes?” you lay your body flat against his, your hands intertwining with his amongst the bedsheets and he clenches his fist tight, tight, tight, tight. It’s all so much. Stimulation coming from everywhere at once. From your chest rubbing against his, from your pussy tightening around him like you’re nearly swallowing him whole. From the messy kiss your lips tangle in and the ever increasing volume from you both.
Spencer bends his knees behind you, supporting your body when your movements become rushed and uncontrollable. With your hand pressed to his chest and your head thrown back, he’s emboldened enough to grope your breasts, losely place his hands around your throat.
“Oh…” you whimper. “G-god…” and Spencer hangs onto the broken sound of your voice, enamored by the way your eyes cross over one another. He feels like he’s not doing much, like his body is still in shock and most focused on keeping himself grounded. As you crash down on him, he bends underneath the pressure, overwhelmed as each bounce grows more deliberate than the last. Each collision accompanied by a throaty, “Mm…mm…hmm.” Until your thighs come to a grinding halt and latch onto him, the orgasm radiating from your belly to your chest and directly to your head. He responds to your boisterous moan with a breathless gasp, catching you in his arms when you land on his chest.
He peppers your shoulder with tiny kisses, licking his way to your neck, biting your throat because he absolutely has to. Your hips continue in this mindless rhythm, draining every last twitch from your body as he whispers, “[y/n]…”
“Hm?”
“[y/n]…I, mm,” you catch his voice in your mouth, pushing your tongue between his lips. You attack his neck. You push his shirt up his torso just to move down his body and kiss his stomach.
“[y/n]…ah!” and though you love the sound of your name on his lips, you love to hear him scream even more and after you suck his cock into your mouth, he can’t stop screaming. Mouth open, body trembling, ear ringing moans. He reaches down to keep your hair out of your face and his hips jolt a bit rougher than he means to. He wants to look at you but his body is too taut. He wants to hold you in the palm of his hand, to call out your name one last time to make sure this is real. But he shoots into your mouth, his legs flailing around your frame, and all he can do, still, is scream.
You hum. You swallow. You slide off of him with a sharp pop. You crawl off of his body and drop as soon as your head hits the pillow. Spencer’s hand keep track of you, grazing your thigh, sad to feel you leave, begging to keep you close. Even as he struggles to breath, he balls up the edge of your dress in his fist. You lean back against the headboard, looking up at his ceiling fan, your body finally exerting all its energy and unable to move any further. The room has settled into nothing but the sound of heavy breathing and catharsis.
Spencer looks up at you and when you make eye contact with him, there are so many more complicated thoughts you could have. But the only thing that swims in your mind is the slow bead of sweat dripping down his forehead. You rest your knuckles on his cheekbone and he promptly grabs your wrist, peppers soft kisses all over your hand.
You owe him something. He has every right to ask. As he opens his mouth, you’re prepared to tell the truth. You will give him nothing but the truth.
“Did you see they’re adapting another Stephen King novel into a movie?”
You exhale a small laugh. Partially because you weren’t expecting it and partially because you had been dying to talk to him about it. “Yes. And I think it’s stupid.”
“Me too! I mean, the premise is promising, I think it can be done, but it’s the…”
“Supernatural element.”
“Yeah!”
“It’s hard to pull off. Major chances of it turning out cheesy and robotic.”
“Yes! Thank you! I’m still going to see it.”
“Oh, me too,” you laugh and his laughter blends in just perfectly.
It can wait. There’s a lot to catch up on. A lot of questions to ask and answer but for now, it’s easy. This, Spencer thinks. This is it. This is actually the easiest conversation he’s ever had in his life. And he’s not gonna fuck it up now.
Author’s note:
Ahh 😝 thanks for reading!!! Like, reblog, comment, all the things!! Just wanted an excuse to post this meme. Stay safe out here 😚
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7d2ce1c5f195124f9731672dcc8bd86a/7e4a2629fee75951-fe/s540x810/14b7a562afd4a25c3206f3e0da442e4d969c78b8.jpg)
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Hello fellow Jayce defender.
First off, virtual kisses on both your cheeks for your Arcane analysis. They're refreshing to read, and insightful as well.
Something that's always bothered me about the way fans interact with Jayce is assuming that he's always the one making the mistakes in any of his relationships. It's almost funny in a way how they strip other characters of their autonomy and arcs just so they can point out how Jayce is failing his partners.
With Mel and Viktor especially, there's this narrative that Jayce simultaneously ignores both of their needs while also prioritising one over the other. Either he neglects Viktor to go and swoon over Mel, or he abandons his relationship with Mel to go play science with Viktor, or he neglects both to go do his own things while they suffer through their own plots.
And it's fascinating how incredibly mistaken these people are, and also how they reduce his character to only being important when he's in a relationship.
I'm here like, "hey, do you wanna discuss the reason for how Jayce seemingly knows how to navigate the ways of high class society very easily is probably because he's had to rely on sponsorships and donations for most of his youth to find his research because his house is too poor to be able afford it?"
Or "It's canonical that Jayce only ever had one friend in his youth before Viktor, and that was the daughter of his main sponsor, do you think it's interesting that this indicates he probably had difficulty making or maintaining friendships and that this is possibly a symptom of the Academy mainly housing elite and rich students so they couldn't relate to his struggles and he couldn't relate to theirs?"
But no, people just want to hate on him for not being the picture perfect boytoy in a relationship.
And I mean, it's not like it's just reduced to Jayce either. So many other characters have had similar treatments where they're reduced to either their most basic qualities or mischaracterised entirely. And I'm really not trying to be the fandom police or whatever - everyone interprets differently - I just find it frustrating is all.
Anyways, you're cool.
YES I never have time to talk about this bc people don't give a fuck but in Jayce's journals we even see him stewing with envy and petty rage at this star-rising student on the academy that he sees as the example of a perfect prodigy (in opposition to how much Jayce fucks things up...)
It also strongly suggests he's on a scholarship, which ties into his suicide attempt.
Jayce is keeping his experiments a secret from everyone to avoid the blowback and isolating himself further and further when they don't work. Jayce is flawed! He's proud of his dream pitch to the point of hilarity. Jayce doesn't like socializing, he does it out of obligation! Even when he's being raised to a councilor position in s1 he's PANICKING. He doesn't want the fucking job, he doesn't like the parties nor the people, his truest honest self is that moment in season 2 where he declares the lab was always his home, and so was Viktor.
But even then he subsumes his own wants spends most of s1 trying to attend to the needs of other people. He routinely asks Viktor if he's alright, if he wants to come up to do the presentation, if he's sure those experiments are safe, etc. He tries to make Heimerdinger proud despite his constant rejections of their projects, and only turns on him when he threatens viktor's wellbeing. The reason why he doesn't announce anything on progress day is that he Was listening to Heimers so-called wisdom and it only bit him in the ass. Jayce gets himself in trouble with the council by being too naive and assuming his new post will allow him to crackdown on Piltovan corruption aided by the Hexgates. Majority of the complaints wrt relationships I see people making of him are just wildly exaggerated. "He was neglecting viktor" bro he talks about viktor in nearly every scene he has with mel 😭 viktor is the one who isolates himself and randomly disappears at times bc he's a grown man with his own boundaries.
Jayce's entire life is defined by the transactional nature of his existence, his work, the patronage receives - all depending on how much he can play the showpony role without fucking it up. It's not a comfortable position. Jayce is stressing out the whole damn show because if one person isn't pissed at him, someone else will be, and it always comes down to revokable money, investments, social standing. if he really was as uncaring and well-off as some claim he wouldn't give a shit. He could just coast along life, but that's not what he's doing ever. He only 'frees' himself in season 2 by abandoning his life's dream and the rotten reality that existed around it. Which is kind of bleak, but at least its over.
#something about the undeniable suicidality undertones#jayce talis#jayce arcane#jayvik#hexposts#viktor league of legends#jayce league of legends#league of legends#vikjayce#arcane#jayce lol#viktor lol#meta tag#viktor arcane#mel medarda#heimerdinger
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